Regret, Hope, Inspiration, Joy, Perseverance…

Dear God,
I come to You today with a handful of mixed emotions...

REGRET: God I regret that fact that I have allowed myself to remain on auto pilot. Going through the motions has never allowed me to achieve peace in my life…I have been feeling so beaten down lately and attacked-due in part from my “busy” schedule with school and work-allowing earthly things to take precedence over You, not staying in Your word-not coming to You regularly- not worshiping You with complete submission-and not trusting You entirely, and allowing myself to remain in the world that I live in… for that-I am sorry.

Hope: Despite my trials and tribulations, despite the fact that I’ve allowed myself to remain in this pool of tepid water, I have not lost hope in You, in Jesus my savior. I have not forgotten that my life is so much better with You in the center of it. I pray and pray for a renewed Spirit but without hope, and without losing my life so that I can find it, I will never receive You the way that I know You and desire You.

Inspiration: To seek You, I find myself, for I was created in your image. I lose myself when I am not giving You my all, seeking You with an honest heart allows me to find comfort in the person that You have created me, comfort in the talents and gifts that You’ve given me, comfort in the plans that You have for me. I pray to be inspired. I pray to be allowed the opportunity to share the gifts that You have given me with the world.

Joy: there is no greater joy than to know that I am loved by You. I’ve always known this, but truly embracing that truth yields more peace and joy than can be contained within me…which is perfect because then, all of the leftover joy and peace spills out of me, it radiates, and is shared with those that I love….my cup runneth over…

Perseverance: Because of the fall, there will be struggle. Dear God, please do not let me forget about that. I want to equip myself spiritually, so that when I endure pain or depression, emptiness or sorrow, I will have the tools to help me, I will have You at the center, and the knowledge of all that is good in You, in me. Help me to be strong and steadfast. Help me to shine the way that You have created me to…please surround me with Your people, and equip me so that I can fight back and persevere in the face of evil.

I desire You, God-I desire Your presence. I want You. I want to trust You wholeheartedly- I want to be an example of the Living and Loving God that I serve.

True-Faced

Dear Lord,
Fill me with your grace today. I don’t want to be an imposter for your love; I want to be completely honest and truthful in my desire to know you.

I do not want to put on a show for you Lord; I want to be true-faced and full of grace. I am not an actor; I want my actions to be inspired by You.

Thank you for adopting me into your kingdom, I am not worthy.
My love can never compare to Yours, but I want to get as close to it as possible.

I want to know you better than I know myself. I want you to encompass every crevice of my mind, body, and spirit. You know my heart, and if I trust and love you more, others will know mine. I’m not here to please You through deeds alone; I am not here to put on a show. I am here because You have created me so, I am here to perform Your will.

I trust You, and I am longing to trust You more. I am here to love You, and desire to love You more.

Only You have the power to fix me, broken as I am.
Only You can deem me worthy of Your praise, no one on this earth can.

Let me live only for You, let me dismiss those who are un-true, and pray that they too, will become true-faced.

Thank You for not forgetting me, and for picking me out of this bunch of miss-fits. I am truly undeserving-once spiritually dead, but resuscitated.
Once a shadow blindly following the ways of the world, now a light beaconing towards my new home.